Remember when “Men in Black” first came out and thinking how awesome it would be if the neuralyzer (that memory-erasing gadget seen above) really existed? Parents ground you for a week? Use the neuralyzer to make them forget that bad thing you did. Girl says no when you ask her to the junior high dance? Use the neuralyzer to make her forget you being all nervous and dumb when you invited her. And these are just things a 13-year old would have conceivably used it for. I figured the neuralyzer had to be an actual device by the time the second sequel came out.

Well, it is now 15 years later, the third “Men in Black” comes out tomorrow and the neuralyzer is still not a real thing. Or even an iPhone app. OK, so I guess I had rather lofty hopes for the future as an adolescent, but can you blame a guy for dreaming? But it’s not just the neuralyzer. There are several other devices from films and TV shows of my youth that should actually exist.

To mark the return of the neuralyzer to the pop culture lexicon, I have decided to make the following list regarding this very issue – The Fictional Devices From My Youth That Should Really Exist As iPhone Apps By Now. And to demonstrate that there are practical uses for these devices other than for a 13-year-old in 1997, I also decided to share how a modern day 26-year-old marketing professional could use them.

The “Back To The Future” DeLorean: Getting the obvious one out of the way first. I would probably use the DeLorean app to go back in time and get all my relatives to buy tons of Apple stock. Or travel to 2022 to see if any of these devices are apps yet. Tough to apply to the modern agency setting. Let’s discuss the more obscure ones.

Recall Implants From “Total Recall”: Need a quick vacation for a little rest and relaxation? No need to take your vacation days. Nope, with the Total Recall Dream Implant app you just have put in your earbuds, hope you don’t lose your identity or accidentally have a lobotomy, and you can take a beautiful trip to anywhere in world (or Universe, even) for two weeks while only being plugged in for an hour. And you can go as whoever you want. Want to be Brad Pitt while on your vacation? You got it. Unplug and you’re hopefully all refreshed and ready to return to work.

Mind Machine From “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind”: Yes, I understand the “Men in Black” device also erases memories, but the “Eternal Sunshine” Machine works a little differently. With the neuralyzer you can only erase chunks of time from someone’s memory. With this app you can erase just certain parts of memory. So, for example, let’s say you’re having an awesome day. You had strong coffee, your clients are happy and your afternoon schedule is wide open. But then you accidentally tweet something from the wrong client’s account and your boss saw it. Just access the Eternal Sunshine app, connect it to your head, and then your boss’s, and that tweet might as well have never happened.

Zack Morris’s Time Out (“Saved By The Bell”): My personal favorite. Zack was awesome even without his ability to freeze time by yelling “Time Out!” He had the girlfriend, the hair, the high tops and the big cell phone. Add in the fact that he can be in trouble with his principal, Mr. Belding, and pause the moment so he can think through the best way to talk himself out of a jam? He should have his own superhero movie. Just think how useful this ability would be as an iPhone app. Get called on during a conference call or brainstorm session and not sure what to say? Just use your Zach Attack Time Out app to freeze the moment, think for a few minutes, a few hours or, if you so wish, a few days, and come back to the situation when you have the most awesome idea/answer to share.

If you could make any fictional device an iPhone app, what would it be? If you need me, I’ll be over at Kickstarter.

This guy likes turkey

Back on Jan. 2, 1996, an unassuming young fella from the small central Minnesota town of Pine City began a three-month internship in the consumer marketing practice of an international public relations firm.

A three-month internship stretched to six, which ultimately led to full-time offer. The kid from Pine City distinguished himself early as a highly organized problem solver who could be counted on in the trenches of some of the agency’s highest profile and most complex projects.

His competence caught the attention of clients and colleagues. “The guy’s good,” they’d say. “Really good. You’re lucky to have him.”

His stellar work would lead to greater responsibility. Before age 30 he was the day-to-day lead on some of the best-known brands in the world. Jim Beam. Coca-Cola. His work took him to some of the biggest stages in the sports world: The Super Bowl, the NCAA Final Four, the Daytona 500 and the Olympics.

And along the way he worked with some of the biggest names in sports: Cycling legend Lance Armstrong, NASCAR star Tony Stewart, baseball Hall of Famer Andre Dawson, and Olympic hero Jim Craig among others. “The guy’s good,” they’d say. “Really good. You’re lucky to have him.”

The kid from Pine City wasn’t known as a big risk-taker. He was, after all, legendary for eating a dry turkey sandwich for lunch nearly every day for well over a decade. True story. But when opportunity knocked, he left one of the best jobs in the industry to take his chances with a tiny competitor across town. The way he liked to tell it, he went from the world’s biggest agency, to the world’s smallest. He was taking a chance on a dreamer. It was like starting over.

By then the kid from Pine City had grown into a first rate strategist, who could more than hold his own with some of the most creative minds in the business. He tackled a wide variety of new challenges, and quickly learned the business side of the agency business. You know, the sexy stuff: HR, legal, accounting, etc. He took the lead on a variety of key agency accounts and initiatives, winning some of the industry’s most coveted awards for his work. He demonstrated a tireless work ethic and continued to nail everything thrown his way.

The tiny agency grew quickly, and his new colleagues and clients were impressed. “The guy’s good,” they’d say. “Really good. You’re lucky to have him.”

Indeed! For all the good stuff above and more, we’re pleased to announce that Scott Broberg, the unassuming kid from Pine City, has earned a promotion to Senior Vice President.

Congratulations, Scott! We’re lucky to have you!

I went to a concert at The Brick last week and lived to tell about it. Actually, I had a very positive experience, so I thought I’d share a little review of the venue. First, a little background.

It’s hard to imagine a business having a worse grand opening than The Brick. The Minneapolis Warehouse District’s newest music club launched to disastrous results with a Jane’s Addiction show in March. Unacceptably long lines outside in the rain. Horrible and/or non-existent sight lines. Too many people. Not enough restrooms. Fans were disappointed at every turn and complaints via social media began battering the venue’s reputation before the band’s set ended.

Then things really got ugly. Fans launched TheBrickMNsucks.com to house complaints and critics destroyed the place in the press. Anytime you need to issue an apology, offer full refunds and immediately close the doors for an emergency renovation, you’re not off to a good start.

I have no idea how an operation could be so unprepared — especially one funded by the deep pockets of AEG Live — but they have taken all the right steps since that brutal first night. They moved several shows to The Myth to give themselves time to resolve some of the biggest issues — including promises to raise the stage height, reduce the number of tickets sold, reconfigure the main entrance and add several TV screens.

I was cautiously optimistic when I arrived for the show, but my heart sank a bit when I saw the line of fans stretching two blocks about 15 minutes after the doors were scheduled to open. The line continued to expand as another 10-15 minutes went by and  fans started to grumble. Fortunately, security was checking IDs and applying wristbands to everyone in line outside — allowing things to move pretty swiftly once they did crack the doors. The wait was a potential negative, but it was a beautiful evening so there was no issue with standing in the fresh air for a bit. Plus, the opening band was still working through sound check when we got in, so I’m guessing it wasn’t the venue that was running behind schedule.

Inside it was packed but not uncomfortable. The place feels very intimate, even more so than First Avenue, and the spots up front are very close to the stage. The sound was excellent — perhaps the best in town. Security guards were tossing out bottles of water to thirsty fans, which was nice (although they need to quit trying to squirt water into people’s mouths from a distance — poor aim meant a dousing for neighboring fans). When things wrapped up, they opened a side door, which made for an easy exit.

The full renovation is not yet complete, but you can see promise in the space. Sure, there’s an angry mob of Jane’s Addiction fans who have vowed never to forgive The Brick, but we should be rooting for the venue to succeed. It’s a cool building in a convenient location and I like the idea of AEG booking bigger acts in a small club. I definitely give it a thumbs up and I’m sure I’ll be back soon. So don’t be afraid of all the negative buzz, music fans. Get there early to score a sweet spot and enjoy the show.

If their names a ring a bell, here’s why: They were both finalists in our recent Summer Internship Campaign.

Nate came out on top in our Facebook voting to earn a coveted internship here at Fast Horse World Headquarters. Tim distinguished himself during the campaign, so we decided to bring him on board, too!

Here’s a bit about Nate and Tim:

Nate Brennan

Nate Brennan

Education — Minnesota State University, 2011 (mass communications, journalism, film studies, English)

Experience — Minneapolis-St.Paul Magazine (web production/blogger), SPIN Magazine (online editorial intern), MSU Reporter (publisher and editor-in-chief)

Quote — “Sure, I’ve been in charge of a newspaper, landed a gig blogging for a summer at SPIN Magazine, wrote a ton for SecretsOfTheCity.com and produced all those online articles about new restaurants and shopping in Edina for Mpls.St.Paul Magazine‘s website. I also do web design, shoot/edit video, don’t care about the Oxford comma and taught myself entire Adobe Creative Suite. Yadda, yadda, yadda. I know mine is just one of billions of stories in the world.”

Tim Holtz

Tim Holz

Education — University of Minnesota, 2012 (strategic communication and Spanish)

Experience — University of Minnesota Academic Health Center (media relations and new media intern), Essential App Marketing (marketing intern)

Quote — “I’ve had a yearlong PR internship for the University of Minnesota and a marketing internship working on a soon-to-be released mobile app. I’ve built great relationships with local reporters and had stories get millions of views all over the world. I’ve developed video storyboards and built effective market strategies. In short, I’ve been continually challenged to step outside my comfort zone.”

Thinking back, I can even remember tuning into the first wave of shows created during the boom of reality television in the 2000s. Shows like “Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, “Boiling Points” and “Joe Millionaire.” What? I never said they were good!

The boom that produced these shows over a decade ago was the result of the U.S. catching wind of the success of reality television outside the U.S., as well as its attractive economics.

X- Factor judges laughing all the way to the bank

Reality television has, up to this point, been an incredibly cost-effective way to produce original programing. In almost every line of the budget, reality TV is cheaper than scripted TV — the talent, the required crew, the sets, the location.

In addition to much lower production costs, the opportunities for additional sources of revenue, including product placement, are much greater in reality programing. Look at the challenges on “Celebrity Apprentice” for examples of organic product integration, and look no further than my colleague Scott’s post on product placement to see how difficult it can be to weave products into storylines in scripted television.

As a big bonus, top reality programs are popular enough to attract key advertisers and some shows even go to enjoy syndication success and strong DVD sales. It’s not hard to see why reality programing was so attractive.

Fast forward to today, and there’s an overabundance of reality programming. Last week alone, reality programs owned one-third of the prime time programming slots on network television.

To try to break out from the clutter of similar programming, producers are bringing celebrities on board to attract viewers and advertisers. These celebrities, often appearing as judges or hosts, are big news, but they’re messing with the economics that made reality programing so attractive in the first place.

Look at the money behind the judges table, for instance. On the “X Factor,” we have Britney Spears making $15 million this year and Simon Cowell an estimated $45-$75 million per season (including his role as a producer). Over on the other networks, Jennifer Lopez is taking home an estimated $20 million from “American Idol” and Christina Aguilera is banking $10 million from “The Voice.”

How do these salaries compare with other TV stars? They’re on-par with the actors leading some of the most popular scripted TV shows. Hugh Laurie on “House” is making $15 million a year, and the ladies of “Desperate Housewives” and Mariska Hargitay of “Law & Order: SVU” are all making around $10 million a year.

As salaries creep higher and more and more copy-cat programs appear, it will be interesting to see how many reality programs will stick around. It’s my guess that we’ll be seeing less big-budget reality programs and more scripted dramas featuring newcomers pretty soon as networks look for ways to cut costs. What reality programs do you hope make the cut?

You must have a lot of Facebook friends or something because you turned in a handy whooping against your colleague Yuki Noguchi.

Mandalit del Barco – 89%
Yuki Noguchi – 11%

I’m still a little surprised Douali Xaykaothao exited the competition as early as she did. Still, I can see the appeal of Mandalit del Barco. Lots of syllables but rolls of the tongue easily. Sounds exotic and comfortable at the same time. And most important, it’s not Andrew Miller. (He’s a great guy, though.)

Unfortunately, there’s no prize to be awarded. Just pride, I suppose. And what the hell, if you’re ever in Minneapolis, I’ll buy you lunch.

[photo by Mark Finkenstaedt via npr.org]

Andrew Miller

Andrew Miller has done some crazy stuff since joining Fast Horse in 2010. We all remember the time he downed like six hot dogs during a BBQ at the office.

He’s also completed some impressive feats, not the least of which was the stunt he pulled this week.

Some setup: We surprised Jörg with a Fatboy chair for his birthday. (It’s a big beanbag thing … the chair, that is.)

The big box tempted Andrew … and soon the challenge was on. Could Andrew jump into the box?

Let’s find out!

But these have all been done time and time again. When you’re looking for something a bit more distinct, fresh, or just that certain something else, check out the Lost Type Co-Op.

Yes, a co-op for typefaces. Two Canadian designers, Riley Cran and Tyler Galpin, started Lost Type as a way to share a single typeface. The co-op has grown into an influential collection of more than 40 typefaces, from designers all around the world.

Another unique thing about this type foundry (as if they need anything more to set them apart!) is its “pay-what-you-want” model, where 100% of the profit goes to the designer of the face you purchased. Love a typeface? Pay $500 and know each dollar goes to the creator of that beauty. Not so sure about another? Pay $2, and still, all 200 cents goes to that designer.

I’ve found some Lost Type favorites. Deming EP made an appearance in our latest Summer Internship Campaign (along side such classics as Gotham and Trade Gothic Bold No. 20).

As well, Lavanderia is a beautiful script face that balances between feminine and strong, and made our 2012 Valentines Day dmail sing when paired with Cubano.

Finally, Pompadour Numerals is a bold set of numerals. Again, this typeface walks the line where a designers application could make an ultra girly impression, or stamp a masculine strength. These elegant numbers were the perfect typeface for the clock in my bathroom (a re-vamped IKEA RUSCH clock, to coordinate with my wide striped, white and mustard shower curtain!)

Deming EP from Lost Type (the word "summer")

Lavanderia and Cubano from Lost Type in action

Pompadour Numerals from Lost Type

Ofeibea Quist-Arcton – 11%
Mandalit del Barco – 88%

Yuki Noguchi – 43%
Douali Xaykaothao – 23%

My favorite, Douali Xaykaothao, falls to the mighty Yuki Noguchi — indeed, formidable competition — and it appears some Facebook campaigning on the part of her friends put Mandalit del Barco well over the top in her match-up with Ofeibea Quist-Arcton. She seems to be a strong favorite heading into the final round, but with such intense competition (tongue planted firmly in cheek), one never knows what might happen.

So here we are. Cast your vote in the final round to determine, once and for all, who has the Best Name in Public Radio. Voting will Thursday, May 17, at 2 p.m.

UPDATE: Voting is now closed. See the results here.

One minute you’re playing in the backyard with your friends, and the next you’re checking on your in-stocks for the weekend Mother’s Day shopping rush. Wait, what?

It’s not the typical life of a pre-teen, but to Sofia, proprietor of Sofia’s Candle Company in Chaska, it’s what happens when a fun art project turns into a suddenly booming business. Sofia runs her candle company out of her mother’s shop, La La Land, located in the heart of the historic downtown district of Chaska. Growing up in a world where your mom refurbishes furniture and finds new purposes for discarded antiques gave her the entrepreneurial bug at an early age.

Offerings from Sofia's Candle Company

This little businesswomen is involved in practically every step of the business, from product creation (except the hot wax and pouring) to sales and accounting. And don’t forget about marketing: she’s got a growing Facebook following, as well. Her full display, complete with a hand-drawn sign, offers customers several scent options and an unscented option, all in refurbished mason jars. Now that’s one savvy kid!

If you’re in the area, it’s a must see…and a must buy.

Sofia's hand-sketched sign